What She Did Right: Celebrate the Little Things

My fingers fumbled to find the cool steel doorknob. I walked over to the long two toned wooden conference table and placed on it two boxes of donuts with signs reading "Happy National Nurses Week! Thank you for all that you do!" One of the social workers on my treatment team later asked me if I had brought in the donuts. I replied in the affirmative. She said "That was nice of you."

I smiled back and said, "My mom taught me to celebrate the little things."

My mom had decorated our bright red Toyota Previa with streamers and a sign reading "Happy Summer" on one of the rear windows during the last week of school. She had the windows rolled down and ragtime music by Scott Joplin blared from the car's stereo. I remember going to the high school to pick up my siblings. Now, I can only imagine the mortification that they felt as they got into the mini van. As for my elementary school self,  I felt like a pageant queen on a float. I remember yelling "Happy Summer" and waving to girls that I knew as we drove by.

What She Did Right: Double the C, Double the S, and You'll Always Have Success.

Two lights above my mother's chair at the table were the only ones giving off light in the kitchen. Darkness lingered outside the bay window in our kitchen.  It was early one school morning.  I had procrastinated on yet another book report. I was supposed to do a puppet show based on a scene from The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle. I was simply planning on drawing figures, cutting them out, and attaching them to drinking straws with tape. For my extremely creative mother this wouldn't do. We used felt for clothing, popsicle sticks for the bodies, wooden balls for the heads, and fimo clay for the hair. She knew that if we put the puppets in the toaster oven the sticks would burn on the rack. So, instead she took a muffin tin and packed flour in each of the cups. She then put the puppets in the cups and the flour held them upright as she placed them in the oven.

What amazes me about this experience is that my mom was heading to Utah that morning. Which means she would have all the laundry done, dinner for the next several days planned and prepared, and usually cleaned the house right before she left. On top of all this, she had taken the time to help her daughter so that she could get a good grade on her sixth grade book report.

Sadly, this was not a one time occurrence.  I remember one Wednesday morning, in the spring of my eighth grade year, when I asked my mother to proofread my ten page report on Jane Austen 45 minutes before we were supposed to be out the door. There were countless other times that she helped me with school projects.

Why double the C, double the S, and you'll always have success? You're more likely to have success if someone else working along side you.
 

What She Did Right: Taking Time

My room is dark and a pile of used tissues lay next to my damp pillow. I hear a gentle knock at the door and my mom tells me that dinner is ready. I tell her I'm not hungry. A couple minutes later I hear another knock and my mom enters my room with a concerned look on her face. She sits at the foot of my bed and gently rubs my leg as she quietly listens to me as try to explain in high pitched voice interrupted by the occasional sob what is the matter. She obviously hasn't eaten dinner and there are things on her to do list that still need to be done, but I can tell that all of her attention is focused me and my problem. I can't remember what these problems were that felt so insurmountable at the time, but I can remember that she listened, that she cared, and somehow magically knew what to say to make it better.

What She Did Right: Modesty is Worth the Sacrifice

My mother and I stood in the junior's department in Macy's and were looking at a beautiful lavender empire waist gown with a beaded bodice. A sales associate saw my mother and I looking at the dress and told us that the dress also came in green. "It's beautiful," I said longingly, "but what it needs is sleeves.".

I had been invited my sophomore year to go to Senior Ball with a group of friends. I love to get dressed up and so I couldn't wait for the prom dress shopping to begin. It was spring break when my mother and began the search. All the dresses had spaghetti straps, halter tops, or were strapless. It turns out the sales associate was also LDS and had faced this ordeal before with her own daughter. She recommended that we search online.

We went home that afternoon and I took a nap. When I woke up, I went downstairs to the computer room and my mom had found a website that sold prom dresses with sleeves. I was amazed as I scrolled down the screen and saw how many choices I had. The pictures were only thumbnails and I couldn't expand but I got the feeling of what the dresses looked like. The dress I wanted had a corset bodice and box pleated skirt. Unfortunately, there was no option to order the dress from the website and have it shipped to the house. The closest vendor of this line was in Citrus Heights, an hour and a half away.  My mom felt that it was worth it. She called and placed the order to the bridal store.

My dress came in on a Friday. The next day I had a choir performance and so my mom left our house in the morning, drove the hour and a half. I tried on the dress and I felt like Cinderella. We were probably at the store for a total of 30 minutes. Then we drove another hour and a half to Hayward where my choir performance was held.

The next year, we would drive up to the Sacramento area again for a dress for Junior Prom. I remember as we drove home, I turned to my mom and thanked for making that trip. She turned to me and said "Thank you for dressing modestly."

I'm glad that I didn't lower my standards for "special" occasions and for having a mom that taught me that modesty is worth the sacrifice.

What She Did Right: Mother's Day

When I was home this past Christmas, I had mentioned to my mom of something she had done for me when I was younger. Her response to that was "I'm glad someone remembers the things I did right because all I can remember are the things I did wrong." In honor of Mother's Day, I will write an experience each day for this week of the things my mother taught or did for me. Happy Mother's Day, Mum. I love you heaps!